Plus sized and not ashamed.
(Source: , via urbansamurai007)
tryin to clean my house and listen to Beyonce at the same time
I didn’t almost break my neck for 4 notes you fuckers
being a pizza delivery driver is great because literally no one is disappointed to see you
the nurse gave me some valium before my surgery so i wouldn’t have a panic attack when they tried to put me under and just when it was starting to kick in i met my anesthesiologist, who told me I have the same name as his kid and I just nodded thoughtfully and said ‘we must battle so i can become the alpha’ and my dad nearly fell out of his chair he was laughing so hard